A new Xbox 360 update gives us Wireless Guitars. Is this the manifestation of the MAN just trying to get you out of the garage and into your parent’s living-room?
Major Nelson reported that a Dash update is available for Xbox 360 next time you connect to Xbox Live. Don’t get too excited about any fantastic new features, though - this update is only intended to add support for a wireless guitar controller for the new breed of music games like Rock Star II and the upcoming Rock Band.
Are Music Games our Karaoke?
Love it or hate it, Karaoke is a popular pastime among those who have had a few too many. The odd talented singer notwithstanding, everyone knows someone who loves Karaoke and is actually a pretty good singer. But the majority of us have no business putting a microphone in our hands – that is, unless our purpose is simply to scare the wits out of a gun-crazed religious cult holed up in a compound. Karaoke could be a valuable weapon of siege warfare.
“We surrender! Now please stop bastardizing Frank Sinatra!”
No matter how foolish we feel singing out loud in public when we’re clearly ill equipped to do so, we’re never really responsible for the catastrophe that is Karaoke. We can always blame the Japanese, or too many drinks. But no more! Our very own Xbox 360 is carrying games that’ll let you perform Karaoke with a full band and that’ll make suburban neighborhoods across North America a lot quieter at night.
Games like Guitar Hero II and the upcoming Rock Band take Karaoke a step further by giving us instruments. Guitar Hero II is a game that asks you to stand up with a fake plastic guitar in your hand that includes fret and strum buttons that make your onscreen avatar rock out. It’s really an addictive party game. When Rock Band finally gets here, it’s going to give us not only a guitar but allow Karaoke-style singing and drums, too. You and your friends can form a complete band playing fake instruments in a fake surrounding on a real video game.
So, let’s get this straight. For about the same amount of effort it would take to learn to play the familiar bass-line from Black Sabbath’s Paranoid on a real guitar, you can learn to score 50K on Guitar Hero II. For about the cost of a used, imitation Strat and portable amp from a pawn shop, you can buy the game and peripherals it takes to play Guitar Hero II. For roughly the time and effort it would take to get several friends together who play the right instruments and form your own garage band, you can get those friends together to play the fake instruments in your parent’s living room.
The End of the Garage Band
So now, instead of having real garage bands producing ungodly racket in suburban garages all night, games like Guitar Hero II and Rock Band will keep the ungodly racket in front of the TV and limited to single households only.